DIGU THE MODERN MARIE ANTOINETTE by Freddy Agnelo Fernandes

During the school days we had to learn about the French Revolution, in there the person I hated most was none other then the Queen, Queen Marie Antoinette, her overwhelming arrogance overflowed when she said, the peasants could eat cake if they could not afford bread. Bread at that time was the basic meal of the poor, the peasants as they were called. Queen Marie Antoinette from the comfort of her palace and silk gowns could not evaluate the misery of the common men or the then Aam Aadmi of France. That happened in the latter half of the 17th century.
Now in the early part of the 21st century we have a similar situation in Goa, with CM Digambar Kamat playing the depraved Queen to perfection, but here he gives the people cake rather than bread, how generous ! In the heart of Margao city the two public toilets that I know of, lie in dire state of hostility or in an utter abhorrent state, one at the old bus stop near Shabina Restaurant and the other in close proximity to Royal Foods near the pickup stand and our erstwhile CM has now given us air-conditioned toilets.
Many years ago I was a victim of urinary infection when I had no choice but to use one of these public toilets, I still remember, even the few minutes that I had to be there, I had to close my eyes as they were burning from the urinary fumes and had to hold my breath throughout the ordeal because of the repugnant smell that emitted and to top it all I ended up with a severe urinary infection, since then I have never ever used these public utilities and I am not sure how people survive this mayhem on their visits there. I just cannot even pass a few meters from these two places and I make sure I am on the opposite side of the road when nearing these monstrosities or aberrations, which instead of giving relief to the people under attack within, pose a deadly health threat to the general public.
Development is certainly good and I have read a lot of congratulatory message to the CM on the air-conditioned toilets, but the million dollar question is, are we Goans in extreme need of air-conditioned public toilets or are we in dire need of some of basic amenities? There could have been a lot of essential things that this enormous amount of money could have been used for, but no, our CM is not bothered about them. Novelties are good, but how long will they last ?
Our government cannot maintain a few normal toilets and he has given us air-conditioned toilets, we would rather have the bread than the cake that we can ill afford.
What would be the cost of maintaining a normal toilet with natural ventilation all around ? And what would be the cost to maintain an state of the art air-conditioned toilet ? If our government cannot give us a hygienic and clean normal toilet, how long will to be before we choke ourselves with the stink in an air-conditioned toilet which will be even more unhygienic as there will be no natural ventilation.
Let me explain it a little more in detail, I am sure many of us have been to air-conditioned bars or night clubs where there are plenty of smokers around, what happens when we get back home ? Not just our clothes but our whole body stinks of smoke and the clothes cannot be worn again without washing. If the air-conditioned toilets are not maintained, these toilets will be breeding grounds for more illnesses and diseases than serve as comfort or luxury toilets. I can assure, that people visiting them will carry home more germs and illnesses than some stray dogs.
I wonder what was the intension behind these state of the art air-condition toilets ? Was it development ? Was it showing off to the world ? Or the most likeliest, was it 10% or more, commission for installation and maintenance ? In a place like Dubai where the novelty of air-conditioned bus stops has withered off in no time, do we seriously think that the novelty of air-conditioned toilets will last in a place like Goa, where most of the users will be from the north eastern and the south central frontiers, most of whom are yet to see a normal toilet leave alone an air-conditioned toilet ?
So should we thank our erstwhile CM for this great gift, that we are not sure, how many of us would dare to venture into without any worry ? Or will it be a one more curse on the CM’s portfolio ? As for me I have learnt my lesson, I would prefer the ignominy of Rajan Parrikar or Joe GoaUK photograph me doing “it” in the open and stay healthy rather than suffer infections to some precious and vital parts of my anatomy. What about you ? Are you game for the cake that our CM has offered ?
At the height of the French revolution Queen Marie Antoinette was executed by “guillotine” (neck chopped off) for treason. I wonder what would be Digu’s fate if there is a Goan revolution ? Food for thought! - Freddy Agnelo Fernandes

6 comments:

Dalia said...

Digu is the worst adminstrator we had in recent times in the history of Goa. He is as lame and blind as could be. He limps when it suits him or plays according to situiations. He is as much communual as the BJP and being ex-BJP, he is no lesser than Parrikar. All he is good in doing is torun to Delhi with his bags full and weep at Sonia's help for advice and survive. Goans need to revolt at the ballot box and show that we can throw out the dictators and their crumb eaters.

aggybaba said...

He could be forced to spend 10 minutes in each of the stinking urinals stark naked.

N.Fernandes-London said...

The only way these A/c toilets will be functional is ,if Digamber Kamat,is personally kept incharge at the door to :

1>Collect the standard fee for Indians and, excess fees for Foreigners /Tourists.
2>Personally clean the toilets after each use,specially by the uncivilised Ghantis he has welcomed to Goa.That will keep him fit and healthy.
3.Runs a Prostitution racket,at night with his brother- in- law, Mr Lawande (who got a well deserved "hot" slap, and should have got more, for immorality, from Shirish Thorat.)
The cubicles could also be used by illicit lovers for their sex??l pleasures.Mickky Pacheco would be definetely interested and be prepared to pay good money for the use of it, to service his concubines.
4> Kamat can set up a cabin/cubicle for Drug Deals for a "Pemium fee".
5>Kamat can have a secret & Strategic conference with his 2 main henchmen, Ravi Naik and Churchill in these cubicles.The smell and stench of sulphates and phosphates will surely make Ravi Naiks hair grow again.Churchills "hip" problems will be a "thing of the past"
6>If Kamat has an arguement with his wife, he can always seek solace in one of the Cubicles (free of charge-of course).It will help him cool down.
7> He can lock up PI Gudlar,in these cubicles, if there is a shortage of prison cells at Jails.
8>Valanka Churchill can always drop in now and then ,while collecting haftas in Margoa ,for her fathers PWD contracts,to check her LIPSTICK hasn`t worn-off or smudged.
So you see Freddy Agnelo Fernandes
not all is lost, if these suggestions are adhered to and put into practice.
I am also sure, other NIZ GOENKARS will have their own suggestions.
I only hope the self certified, highly educated Andrew F / Stormrider, controller and vigilante of Margao,Raia,Curtorim & Loutolim will help Kamat educate the Gantis on how to defecate & clean up,in civilised manner.

N.Fernandes-London said...

Just before I go on my travels around Switzerland for the next 2 weeks, I would like to tell you Niz Goenkars of an experoence I had in Goa.
Several years ago when I was visiting Goa, I needed to use the Toilets in Dabolim Airport.
Standing outside these toiletss for Men & Women, was a young migrant girl "selling" strips of toilet paper.The alternate would have been to use water.
This was rather a sad experience for me, to see a very young Girl, doing this at Goa`s major airport.I felt ashamed of being a Goan
I am sure there will be many readers here on NG who will conform and remember this.
Now with the Sulabh A/c toilets in Margao,I wonder what will be the scenario for those
foreigners, more used to Toilet paper.
On a train journey travelling from Goa to Hyderabad some while ago, again I noticed that people that used the English Type Toilets, actually stood on the toilet instead of seating on it.I noticed this as there were shoe / slipper marks on the Toilet Seat.
I hope these will not be the same in the Margoa Toilets.
But as Freddy Agnelo Fernandes stated,I doubt the new toilets will be maintained to a high or usable standard.
I also doubt if these toilets are self cleaning and self disinfecting .
I do not think an A/c toilet will make much of a difference, if the people that use it lack "Toilet etiquette".
Let us see in a few months time.
No doubt there will be news and stories about it.
If it does not work or meet standards, it should be dismantled and installed in Mr Kamats front or back garden as a symbol of his crass stupidity.

Pedro said...

@N.Fernandes-London

The toilets in Switzerland are the cleanest of all the toilets in the world, the weather is going to be good for you, you're lucky, it's going to be around 8 - 11° C.

Switzerland is the model city of the world, it's Airport, it's Train and busses, one can adjust their watches as per their timings, I do.

A real democratic country where the people vote for Laws and not only for the Politicians. It has a population of 6+1 Million and is 5 to 6 times larger then Goa, speaks 4 languages and no language is superior then the other, although German is more dominant and the Capital Bern is in the German speaking Canton.

http://official-swiss-national-languages.all-about-switzerland.info/index.html

The 4 different language speaking citizens don’t' even speak each other languages, most of the time a Dolmetscher / translator / Interpreter is used. If one would travel to the German speaking part, every thing is in German, so in the French, Italian and the Rumantsch [sometimes also transcribed as Romansh, Romansch Rhaeto-Romanic or even Romance etc

In Switzerland no one is above the law, and every law is well defined, the Swiss laws can be downloaded as a PDF file.

Now back to Goa, I once wanted to use the toilet in the Panjim Bazaar, at the entrance of the toilet a north Indian guy was collecting a rupee to enter, once inside I could not breath, it was very badly ventilated, very badly illuminated, not cleaned for ages and the big problem was that the construction of the toilets were not done by any specialist. The piping of the Urinal and the piping of the Toilet Nr. 2 are joined together with out any proper technical knowledge behind it.

Whilst in Goa, I prefer to withstand the pressure and go home to do my natures call. The restaurants are not much better or they don't have a toilet.

Trevor said...

This is a very appropriate name for this con-artist and leader of the pack of Chors. It was reported he was eating high and mighty at the expense of the taxpayer and 'am sure he gets expensive treats from the land-sharks and building lobbies. He definitely does not seem to be loosing any weight. Even Marie Antoinette was thinner when they chopped her head off. The very fact that he altered the RP, speaks volumes, going against the will of the people. Sadly we Goans allow our CMs to ruin our Goa, with ill planning. It is shocking to see someone who has the top job in Goa officiating a toilet. If we tell anyone in the west this, they will laugh. Does he not have better things to do with his time? We have drugs, rapes, desecrations of temples, burglaries, robberies, police involved in drug trade, prostitution, murders, beheading etc and this guy is spending his time cutting ribbons for toilets. What a joke! I wish he would officiate the toilet at the airport. At least N Fernandes was lucky he could buy pieces of toilet paper. When I opened the door I was shocked. I felt so ashamed what foreign tourist must think of us Goans. The door to the toilet was so filthy but when I opened the door, I saw sh_t all over the floor. True story. What a first impression of OUR Goa for visitors?! The want to do tourism in Goa, but they don't have a clue, our Goa is just beautiful and that is why they have been coming. But we have caused so much destruction in Goa in just the 10 years that National Geographic has listed Goa as dangerously in peril. We need more toilets in Goa. The Indian government also needs to teach its people to use a toilet. They can do this using Bollywood actors as PR advocates. All over the world India is known as very behind in this area. We need to acknowledge it and fix it....Oops! Did I say drugs? I forgot, his right-hand man said 'no drugs in Goa'.....When are our Goans going to wake up?

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