Dear Tourism Minister,
I am glad that you along with your team are going to visit UK to attract tourists. Welcome news for the Goans and the Taxi Drivers, Hoteliers and of course the Goa Pulis. Taxi Drivers will be seeing you off at the Dabolim airport in large numbers on your departure.
The hoteliers have already started a drive to renovate their premises in the positive hope of your visit. Mauvin Godinho is planning to shift his Aunty Nagar from Zuari as to provide better picturesque view whilst landing for the tourists. The chimneys of Zuari Agro Chemicals spitting hazardous smoke killing the greenery below are going to be re-fabricated to clear vision for huge Jumbos to land, diverting the mist into underground sewerage channel.
You have taken a better step in the interest of Goa’s Tourism. I hope, within your short period of time as the Minister of Tourism, you must be having enough experience on foreign land. We will be glad if you could kindly ask Mickey Mouse to accompany you as he has lots of past experience on such trips. He also knows places to go around. You being sincere man may do the mistake of passing through King’s Cross, if Mickey Mouse is with you; he will well identify the place from far off just with his sense of smell. You will avoid such an embarrassing spot. Mickey Mouse will also be able to guide you on your whole stay so that the Goan exchequer will not have to suffer high costs.
Before you leave, please ask the Kamat to build footpaths for the tourist to walk. Security for the tourist from the police force so they won’t get looted by the migrants. And harassed by the Lamanis, lest we get a bad name. Make sure you inform the Electricity Department (You can meet the Electricity Minister at any Casino at night) to brighten up the streets at night so that old people like me can see the potholes whilst walking on the road.
About the roads, do not bother; we will convince the tourists that the potholes are left on the road to deter the speeding drivers, “for your own safety”.
However, when you come back happily, we would like welcome you back at Dabolim, to help you with your suitcases. We would also like to know on your progress and how much it cost the Goan Exchequer. And at last, when you come back to office, show us how you will recover all the expenses spent on yourself and the team.
Thanking you,
Dalia - Niz Goenkars


diogofichardo said...

For the western tourists, " once bitten twice shy". Besides our Indian Tourists behaviour, The Eastern European including Russians have ruined most of the tourists destination around the third world countries not sparing Goa.
Most of the UK's and Western tourists who have been to Goa have spread the good news about Goa's crime sphere, including freely availability of drugs and no shortage of rapists. The slums portray Goa as a beautiful place, the aroma coming from these slums gives one a feeling of drug high. Besides the many disadvantages Mopa Airport will be the final Nail in the Tourism Coffin, when the tourists learn that journey times from airport to resorts are doubled. At this moment in time Goa is nowhere nearer in the top ten tourists destinations of the world.
Wake up Goa's corrupt Ministers it is reality and not a fantasy

Marcel said...

Yes well said Dalia!

There is one channel where the waste dumped into the arabian sea by the Birla company. if you go to Hollant Vasco for a swim on the beach you feel your skin is itching. Is this because of the waste dumped by the Birla's or other company. Someone should investigate as this channel is secret.
This is not good for fish and the people of Goa.

Unknown said...

They will not wake up... We will have to wake them up.
When people are in deep slumber and do not wake up, we usually shake them up a bit and then pour some water on them (please use a bucket of shit for the politicians)and if they still don't wake up then you got to slap them a bit to open their eyes ( you can use chapals and sticks as these guys are thick skinned.

dlp said...

Lucky Bugger! At least by becoming the Tourism Minister he got the chance to visit UK on the tax payers' account. Would he spend his own money to go there? What is he going to tell the people of UK???? Not only the UK, but the whole world already knows about Goa. We don't need our Ministers to go out and promote tourism. The slums are become like five star hotels. Even the animals dread to go near them. This is the only reason these so-called Ministers want to run away from Goa and enjoy their time overseas while they can. Dubai, UK, Canada, et al.

Francis Rebello, Panjim said...

It's a well drafted letter, hope the Babus sitting atop porvorim Hillock can read it well. It is a waste of money, really from the Goan exchequer a pointed by the writer. I remember reading in the past that so many wasted trips were made by the former Tourism Minister Mickey Pacheco those must have been to enjoy with his concubines.
Do we really need these foreign trips by the Ministrs to attract tourists? What do we have in Goa for the tourist except for the hospitality of the Goans? Now, bring the Chinese and promote prostitution and nothing else. Goa was better without tourists, it has diluted our culture and increased the crime. The Minister and his entourage will cost nothing lesser than millions to the Goans.

dlp said...

Dalia!... I really love you, suddenly coming out of your slumber and popping out with these articles. What is our Tourism Minister going to do there? How is he going to promote tourism? I think he will stand on the stage and sing out loud (tune 'Mumbai Meri Hai'):
Goa Goa, Goa amchi hai
Goa Goa also tumchi hai
Ghanttis are nice,
They are full of spice
Only thing don't forget to bring your nose blocking device
La la la la la la la la
To aiz Londonank paulo, Goenkarachem zok mara
Minister zaun tannem gaum poile bara
Nidla zalear matso veguin Utt Re Niz Goankara

Nagesh Prabhu, Ponda said...

What an article for the Goans to read and understand through sacarsm. True, sometimes, we can open their eyes like John said above. The whole ministry of Digambar Kamat is involved in all sorts of corruption. We Goans say that Congress party is the best to rule us. The catholics or Goa has pampered Congress. BJP is communual. Can anyone count how many real Congressmen are left in Goan Congress? The whole ministry is made up of defectors from BJP or MGP or UGDP. The new machine of Shaving Goa is more effective though partly paralysed as learnt from some doctors. But it's sharp blades will trim every part of Goa before death. The new barber is already in shape, waiting to open the shop officially, I mean the little piglet of Varca.

N.Fernandes (London) said...

Hi Dalia,
Great letter.
Very interesting to read the light hearted & serious views, humour and jokes of commentators so far.I am sure a lot more will follow.
Considering that Mr N Halarnkar is a "new Kid on the block", I am prepered to give him a chance.
However I am a little sceptical & unsure if he will come with new ideas of his own or will he be the puppet of the other 2 guys in his coeterie, accompanying him i.e Swapil Naik and Rajesh Kale.
Previously Mickky Pacheco as Tourism Minister
was more interested in travelling abroad on these promotional jaunts to satisfy his erotic and sexual fantasies.On his last trip to the WTM in London he chose to stay seperately at the posh Ritz hotel in London.One might ask why he did not want to be with his assistants.Now, I do not think Mickky normally enjoys being on his own.
Mickky usually enjoys being accompanied by thugs like Matthew Diniz.This Diniz is the bodyguard.Lyndon Monteiro is the sidekick & spokesperson and OSD to Mickky.As Mickky cannot read or write, Lyndon assists him with this "curable" infection & disability.
Mickkys greatest acheivement as Tourism Minister
was to travel around the world at the expense of Goan Taxpayers, promoting Goa and his sexual acctivities, and then when he sat in his most ugly Castle ever built, behind Betabatim Church, called Fransa House he told the world that Goa Is the RAPE Capital of the world.
Now I am beginning to wonder if after this sort of remark, if all the Tax Payers money was well spent in promoting Goa? AND, What is the cost of counter- promoting this remark.
This remark about Rape is quite natural for Mickky.He is well qualified for this sort of remark as it is a cover for his own habitual sexually releated actions.
I do not think there is one person within and around the areas of Betalbatim that is unaware that Miccky has been involved in Rapes himself.
His prey were usually very, very young helpless and poor girls.Many decent ,morally abiding people would say that this act of his to de-flower young girls is an act of paedophillia.Sexual therapists & experts would also not rule out his capacity for "beastiality" as he is well known to exhibit traits of beasts.
Additionally many other criminal acts of Mickky have been emblazoned on international news papers and news media.
I hope the new Tourism Minsiter will have the opportunity to read the comments on Niz-Goenkar and how the ex-tourism Minister failed badly.It will help him with his promotion of Goa as a tourism destination and help him countermand the negativity promoted by Mickky.
I am a little busy at the moment, but will return to comment further.
I sincerely hope more of my fellow Goans and also non-goans and tourists will leave their comments, as it helps us all and me understand how we would like Goa to be portrayed in the eyes of the world and also make it an interesting place to visit.

N.Fernandes (London) said...

Hi Nagesh,
Yes I think I have heard of this shop in Varca/ has been named "BIG LIPS BOUTIQUE".
By the way, you do not get a 10% discount is the other way around.
Best services at this boutique is "Bribery" and "Corruption".The main shareholder is "DADA CHORCHILL"
It is becoming a "curious" destination for Goan Tourists from other parts of Goa.

Dalia said...

@N. Fernandes, my hair grew longer by the time I finished reading your assessment of the situation. Ready for another trim but not with the Big Lips Barber. Thanks for your inputs. The politicians of the South are supposed to be the worst who are promoting family rule or dynastic rule. Hope people will throw them out this time. The ex-Tourism Minister may finally go to Chorchill for some Musli Power as his hydraulic force may diminish in the next elections. They have done it before and they may do it again. There is no guarantee of this Mickey Mouse to win either from Nuvem or Benaulim. People grow wiser day by day and not foolish. The Mickey Mouse is exposing himself by portraying himself a the messiah of the Poor as portrayed by the "Rent a Mob", his favourite publicity stunt. People like Bakia Menino, the Extortionist of Colva has already switched sides with Chorchill. Before, it was like an attached room. Mickey Mouse the room, Bakia the toilet attached together with the room.

Kentuckee the mad paedophile of Goa is like a prostitute can sleep who ever in power. He somehow knows that the place, his earnings does not belong to him. If not for supplying fake currency, pimping and doing the business of supplying girls, he won't be able to live a second day.

dlp said...

N. Fernandes... Welcome back!! I thought you left us and was wondering if we said something to hurt you. My wife wanted to be the first customer of the "BIG LIPS BOUTIQUE" and make a name for herself in the news headlines along with Dada Chorchill, but I warned her that if she visits there, my lips will be forever sealed for her.

Britto, Cunchelim/Canada said...

When Goa does not have enough security for the citizens itself, will the Tourism Minister tell this to these delegations obroad? Will he be reminded of the Scarlet Case? The German girl case? Does Scarlet mother knows that the Goan delegation coming to UK? How about telling the whole of UK that the Tourism Department does not have urinals at touristic places? Why not ask the tourist to carry their own mobile toilets?

The trip istself is a joke. How will they admit they are going on a holiday? Swapnil Naik and Co just returned from Canada. This is the way why we move backwards in India rather than moving forward.

Shamsunder Chodankar, Pomburpa said...

Very very funny, can the Goan Ministers read this? When the education Minister is "unpad" how can the government be good?

dlp said...

Chodankar... How will these unpad Ministers read these comments. They must be approaching their educated friends for translation whom they have given money and asked to vote for them. These monkeys only know how to jeer showing their teeth and scratching their backside.

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