GOA`S BULLFIGHTING SEASON: by N. Fernandes, London

I am under the impression that Bullfighting (Dhirio) of the “BOVINE” kind has been banned or made illegal in Goa.
However I am please to hear that bullfighting of the “HUMAN KIND”, has only just begun. A little bit early, but nevertheless welcome and entertaining…..especially after the rather long monsoon season. Seems like we will now have sunnier times ahead, in Goa
Now before all you guys and Gals hitch a ride to downtown Ponda, (Goa`s gambling Mecca) to place your bets with the Matka King Ravi Naik, please consider who to place your bets on and how many hard earned Rupees you can afford.
Also remember the “Z” & “Z” plus security which is in place around these parts and more notably around the Matka King. His new court “jesters” are equipped with Guns…not “LATHIS”.  I also, would not recommend you, to buy any medication sold by Roy Naik`s “Pharmacy“.
From the information that I have, these medications, which were confiscated by the Law Courts, have been stolen and sold to Roy Naik from the Goa Police (who prefer the public to address them as GUA POLICE) warehouse, by Ashish Shirodkar, and under instructions & guidance of Dy Sp Chandrakant Salgaonkar.
Now! If you were looking to taste some Israeli Kosher food at “ATALAS”…remember he is no longer operating and has returned to Israel, either via Nepal or Bangladesh.
You may ask me, how Atala returned to Israel.I only know as much as you do. However, I would certainly AND IN NO WAY suggest that he was helped by Mickky Pacheco`s Immigration services. By the way,Mickky`s Immigration services is currently undergoing renovation.He has just inherited $2 million.
The venues of these Bullfights will be in various places.The first event is taking place in a well known Dhirio stadium…Benaulim.I do not intend to insult anyone by not mentioning their favourite venues,like Colva,Nuvem,Varca etc.However remember this is due to the recent boundary changes and my limited knowledge.
Here now are the main contestants of the “Human Bullfights”
In Benaulim we have:
Valanka vs. Viola
Valanka vs. Francis Sequeira
Churchill vs. Faleiro
Churchill vs. Sardinha
Dr H Gomes vs. Valanka
Dr H Gomes vs. F. Sequeira.
**In Nuvem:
Mickky vs. Alexio Sequeira
**In Margao:
Kamat vs. Azgaonkar
**In Valpoi:
Vishvajeet vs. ??
This is the best that I know currently.I am sure you will now assist me with the other venues & contestants; and with a little commentary too, so we can make judgements on a good bet.Best of luck.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great analogy!!! They do look like bulls! Look at their faces…all got fat at our expense. Very funny....the Dhirio is back...

Dalia said...

Mr Fernandes, as usual, the Gua Pulis, (Sorry not Police) will know in advance which bulls will be int he fray including the venues. They will start looking for the bulls itself to see whose pocket is so porous, how much support he has got and so on. The bulls as mentioned above are a few but there will be more including one P. Dourado from Nuvem as I am told by the night cat who was onthe prowl.
Apart from these dirios, there will suddenly Village Youths, Village Clubs, Social Organisations and Social Workers show their head to eat the crumbs of the spectators. They are there every election be it panchayat, municipal, assembly or MP. Some of them are so seasonal, their main job is feeding themselves on politicians and living up with the political crumbs. Gandhiji suddenly becomes so popular but starts moving in the night. Aleixo Sequira after all his arrogancy becomes so humble during the time of Dirios, Mickey Mouse will limp harder to gain more sympathy and Valanka will fight for your causes no matter no one wins. Chorchill as usual will talk about issues he dosen't understand. And Paigambar will suddenly make Monte Hill his favorite destination for the evenings.

N.Fernandes (London) said...

.....Just a couple of other stuff I forgot to mention( i Must be getting old?!!!).Remember a lot of "BULLSHIT" is discharged during these fights.Many local "PADRES" give prominence & their blessings to these fights before & after the Sermons at Sunday Mass.Sometimes these Padres are not dressed in their usual white & black collar uniforms. They are more "dressed to kill" !!Also remember if you are hedging a bet to remember that the names of the contestants have been politely modified by Niz Goenkars and upright & RIGHT THINKING Goan Citizens.These names are self-explanatory...Kamat= COWMUTH,Alemao= Chorchill,Monseratte=MONSTER RAT,Valanka= HIPPO OR BIG LIPS...ETC.Another thing to remember,this is the only sport where you will receive "Gifts".It could be Kinetics,Sarees,bicycles and even maybe a feww Rupees etc .It is all down to your social status & not luck.ALso remember the "OMLETTE GADDA" will sell you his delicacies..where as the "contestants" provide free refreshemnts...booze (LIQUOR),Xacuti and Biryanis.ENJOY!!!!

dlp said...

N. Fernandes... Can you send me your email ID at lazarts@yahoo.com? I'd like to share some mails that I share with Menino, Diogo Fichardo and Dalia.

Dalia said...

Far-ar-far zatat ranat-u,
Politicians Goenche, chortat xarantu,
Bhirant tankam na, disache uzvadantuch,
Paigambar tancho Raja, koslich na odchonuch.

Goeam kelem kobar hea chorani,
Ganvche ganv bhorleat aiz drugs-ani,
Goenche policeank aikunk iena, bere kanani,
Urlolo zago amcho farailo bhaileanim,
Irloso lugar urla to bhorla ghantianim.
Paigambara, kiteim tori korun,
Kursi tuji borea munxeak di soddun,
Goenchem kiteim tori urom samballun,
Tumi sogleanim khaunche adim urlelem chorun.

Paigambara, Paigambara,
Kitem tum evjitai?
Tujem kodel samballunk,
Goem ratr-dis kiteak viktai?

Marcel said...

People of Colva, Benaulim,etc will never realize their folly by going after corrupt politicians. One day I heard some youth from colva came to picnic in Hollant,Vasco and while enjoying themselves try to tease some girls. The other party objected and there was verbal fights which could have raised to hand fight. The other group is from Khariawada with few person and the colva youth were 4 times more. They taught they are king and wanted to attack the vasco family picnicker's. The group from Khariawada warned them if they try to act smart, they will not reach their home. The colva sheet got scared and the organiser of the picnic come to peace with the vasco group. This was before Miccky's arrest. The youth (bad sosod) think they are king, they are only king of their den not in other place, when they go out they become pigs, they try to mess with Khariawada be aware youths. Someone should educate them that all are goans and respect the other girls and womens. Their leaders are shameless and what they will learn look at their leaders always out with the ladies.... Government should open a free condom factory for them... are the parents of those youth listening? They are christians... and the priest should teach them manners instead of going around the corrupt pigs and mickey mouse.

dlp said...

Writing adds a personal touch between writer and the reader. I like articles by N.Fernandes, P. Cruz, Saturnino Rodrigues, Aires.... Keep it up! Happy writing to you guys and happy reading to us who cannot write so well.

aggybaba said...

wow Dalia, Thanks.

Dalia said...

.....Goencho Sorkar, Goencho Cancer....
Rane Rane Rane Rane,
Tumi chin'tta apun munnon xanne,
Tumi Goenche vhodle Nogounne,
Devache etoch tumcam apounem,
Sozmat Devnchar ditolo tumcam tikkanem.

Iffernant tumi torostolet nastana doie'a
Sounsarant astana, zata titlem nagoun khaie'a
Bholsam borun, urta tem baki chorank khau"dea
Konachoch boball naka, sogle ugi rau'iea
Soglee ektaim zaun re Goem vattun khaum-ia.

Rane-Sune-Paigambar-Chorchill-Parrikar
Tuim Sequira, Mauvin, Luizin ani Narvekar
Tossoch Agnel, Monkey Mouse ani Salgaokar
Urleat tevui sangti, sogle tume gad'dar,
Goenche porjeche xirapani tumi re jietat.

Vhodlo Monster Goencho, posko Monster Rat
TCP post gheun tuven dakoili vait ti vatt,
Koxe porim Goenchea lugarachi launk ti vatt
Xetam puroun, conversion sompem korun,
Tea meren vaingonn' rovop ordeanim dilim sodun.

Utt Goenkara, Utt Goenkara,
Hea sogleam chorank diat danvdavun,
Niz Goenkar eun fuddem sorun,
Drugs and drugs vikteleank,
Ghalat fondant, hatani duklun.

Dalia said...

dlp, you mentioned your male friends forgetting me, your female friend. You never read my articles at all? Or you don't like females?

dlp said...

Dalia my sweetheart... By articles, I meant the articles that appear on Niz Goenkar blog. Not the comments. Comments are plenty, and my Dalia is the only female I like here. Sorry, if I have hurt your feelings, but that is just a misunderstanding. OK? Don't take it to heart!!! You are one of my very first partner for commennting on the Herald together with Diogo and Menino. How can I forget you???? No love lost, ok?????

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